First night out solo

Man I was really scared, here's the full thread of the night when I wrote it and went out alone.
I will paste my main message from the thread here:

Man I am so fuckin' scared/excited.

I have been SO fuckin tryin to persuade my mates to come out.
It's not happening. It was my 20th birthday, on the 19th.
A few of us were supposed to go out.
Turns out we couldn't even organise a pissup in a brewery, its been like this for a while. We rarely go out anymore.

Tonight is the night. I just watched Tyler on bad emotions on YouTube. I'm scared as fuck lol. It's raining. I had a bit of a headache. I really do not feel like going out.

BUT fuck man, this is my life. I have to do it. It feels funny writing this now.
I feel like this is MAKE OR BREAK.

If I do this, I can do anything.

I have no real choice. I am going out.

I've pretty much said bye bye to a couple of my close friends. They're really fucking about with plans and I do it too. We're havin HUGE essay convos on facebook, it's funny really but its our friendship.


I'd like this to be a real post of inspiration to any who truly believe they can't go out themselves if they're in a similar situation.

My heart is pounding lol. The headache is poundin in my left temple.

I need to realise right now I'm the only person who matters and it's time to whip out the horse girl opener or something. LOL.

God this is ridiculous but scary. I'm gonna go before my m8s msg me back.

THERE IS NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE.

Anyway basically I had to commit myself and before I was about to make any excuses I knew if I watched Tyler's Bad Emotions clip I would probably realise and just be like "fuck, I've got to do it."

I love everyone at that forum, they all encouraged me to do it and were supportive.

My friend ended up phoning me as I walked on my own, ended up speaking to him and just talking about how bullshit the situation was between us. I asked an old couple the time as I was walking up to get myself out of my head.

I ended up speaking to the cute bartender girl and the guy. I spoke to the bouncers about their job and how they got it. I was amazed at how long I could keep them talking just by acting interesting "hmmm, yeah, oh right?" and just repeating what they said back to them in a different way.

I got some great reference experiences that night and got myself a job application that I have handed in, I'd love to work at a bar, get some bar skills.

Another deep thing I remember from watching that short clip from Tyler was where he said "I live in fear most of my life". He's constantly pushing himself and he constantly does things that scare the shit out of him. He doesn't let the *ITS SCARY* stop him from doing it.

Going out solo is great just to see how you are on your own without depending on others. It builds character. If you're considering it, do it.